Happy Belated Brudus Day!

Everybody loves a good holiday! What’s not to love? You get to stay home from work, eat and drink as much as your belly can hold and laugh and talk with your friends. These days however holidays in Jamaica have taken on a new macabre twist.

Yesterday we celebrated our first official “Brudus Day” in commemoration of Bruce Golding and his henchman, Christopher “Dudus” Coke, fucking Jamaica royally.

This holiday, far from the usual script, gave us half a day home from work rather than the full day we have come to expect. Also we had no warning, no eve, no indication of the impending “everybody guh home early” to go out and properly prepare for the day.

So we celebrated “Brudus Day” for half a day, huddled in our cars, stuck in traffic, crapping our pants praying to get home before the “fireworks start”. The fact that it took some people up to three hours to travel 2-3 miles meant we did not get the chance to eat and drink as we would like, since we did not have a “Brudus Eve” and did not get a chance to stock our glove compartments.

“Brudus Day” did however gave us a chance to talk and cry with our friends, as we panicky keep calling, and Blackberry messenger-ing each other, for updates…weh yuh deh? Yuh reach home? Mi still inna traffic! Mi did jus downtown yuh nuh! Thank God mi reach home! Yuh reach? Thank God…mek sure de grill dem lock!

So how do we celebrate our next “Brudus Day”? Pretty much the same like the first, as this is a holiday that sneaks up on you like a gunman, without warning, without eve. But at least we made a carol we can sing while we huddle in our cars, stuck in traffic:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Bruce and Dudus are burning the town!!